'Shiro, I wasted the life I should have enjoyed for you. Instead of fighting to create a beautiful garden, I allowed weeds to choke anything that could have grown.' [Ian gives a moment for those bitter words to sink in, reaching out to wrap his hand around his still-warm cup. It's a soothing reminder to keep his anger in check, and he makes a conscious effort to tone down his distaste - though there's no concealing his scowl. It wasn't too long ago that he thought along those same lines, and even if he is frustrated with himself for having thought like that, it's no good to take that out on his other self.] Even if he understands, can you really be as selfish as that? Our lives were paid for with his; if you don't do everything you can to make it worthwhile, then you've failed him.

[He shakes his head, raising the cup to his lips for a much-needed taste of his coffee. He should have made it more bitter, but as it is the sharp taste goes a long way in grounding his mood.]

Even if you're determined to not let him close to you... Let him say goodbye. You know how it feels, to have your best friend torn from you so suddenly. You don't have to trust him to acknowledge what it is you've put him through.