whoops my hand slipped // la la la la la (not) therapy

[takeashotatlove]

[After an almost four month absence, Ian might be here, but he's not looking too thrilled about it.]

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[takeashotatlove]

Shiro didn't sacrifice his life for me. He didn't die in an honorable way so that I could continue living for him. He died with little ceremony, in a horribly unworthy way, because of my mistake. Shiro deserved better.

[There's that flare of anger again, especially present when it comes to Shiro, because Ian blames himself the most for that. Everything that has gone wrong has most likely been his fault in some way, he's convinced himself, because he wouldn't be abandoned twice if it wasn't. Shiro, however... Shiro wouldn't have left him. ... right?

So while Ian does his best to process everything, he knows that's who his heart reaches for even if he feels unworthy, because Shiro never had a chance to break his heart.]

I didn't put your boy through anything. There's no point in talking to him. He brought searching for me upon himself.